BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER

BY:HEATHER NICHOLE “SNOOPY”MAIN

I WAS READING ON UP ON BPD YES AGAIN MY LIFE IS STILL A MESS I THINK I WIN AND IT GOES TO **** IT MAKES ME FEEL WORTHLESS LIKE THIERS YOUR SIGN YOUR CRAZY AND INSAIN THAT’S WHAT IT IS TELLING YOU BUT WITH ALL THE **** I HAVE BEEN THROUGH IM SURPRISED I HAVE BEEN ABLE TO MAINTAIN NO MATTER WHAT I DO I CAN’T ACHIEVE MY HIGHEST GOAL TO JUST BE NORMAL AND FEEL WHOLE LOSE THIS WEIGHT DIETING IS WHAT I REALLY HATE I LOVE FOOD IT IS WHAT PUTS ME IN A GOOD MOOD I JUST KEEP GETTING FATTER AS A MATTER OF FACT I FEEL LIKE A RETARD DEALING WITH ALL MY ISSUES IS SO FREAKING HARD SOME DAYS I JUST SIT AND GRIEVE LIFE CUZ I CAN’T BELIVE I HAVE TO LIVE MY WHOLE IGSTANCE WITH BPD EVERY THING IT SAYS ABOUT IT IS ALL ME I TRY AND GO THE DISTANCE MY PAST HAS BEEN HITTING ME PRETTY HARD ALL THE SEXUAL ABUSE FOR ALMOST 4 YEARS MAYBE THAT IS WHY I SHED SO MANY TEARS AND HOPPED IN THE SACK WITH ANYONE FOR DOPE JUST SO I COULD GET MORE CRACK AND COPE I USED DRUGS TO COVER EVERYTHING UP WHEN I JUST NEEDED I LOVE YOUS AND SOME HUGS NOW MY MAIN ADDICTTION IS TO SHOP I HAVE NO MONEY IM POOR AND IN DEBT I AIN’T LAUGHING THIS ISN’T FUNNY I AM NOT LIKE THE HEATHER I ONCE WAS I WANT TO CLOSE THE DOOR ON THE PAST AND AT LAST BE HAPPY NOW BUT HOW WHEN I HAVE ALL THESE ILLNESSES IN MY BRAIN I FEEL LIKE IM DRIVING IN THE TOTALLY WRONG LANE **** A ONE WAY STRAIGHT TO HELL SOEMTHING HAS TO BE DONE SO I CAN HAVE A BETTER DAY AND NOT HATE ME ALL THE TIME TAKING MY MEDICATION AND SEEING MY SHRINK AND I KNOW I NEED SOME TYPE OF VACATION I WILL BEAT THIS WITH THIS AND THAT PILL **** I NEED A STIFF DRINK

BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER